A good Start

The bible study that I started this week is The Sacred Romance ... Drawing Closer to the Heart of God by Brent Curtis and John Eldridge. It was definitely God who brought me to this study; for this study is specifically for those who have lost touch with their heart. The first chapter describes how we react to the feeling of uneasiness and malaise within our spirit by stepping up our service, try to read and learn more about things like prayer, and even scold ourselves thinking we are spiritually immature. Our external lives is what earns us our labels, I often wondered what labels I have earned from others. One would like to think the "labels" we give to ourselves would match those given by others. Over time our outer life is totally disconnected from our inner life; which in turn, leads to us falling away from our spiritual journey because our hearts just won't come along. The quote which opens chapter one pretty much sums up how I have been feeling:

"Thirsty hearts are those whose longings have been wakened by the touch of God within him."

A.W. Tozer

I did not read about the study before joining, I just ordered the book, the workbook and CD and showed up. As I said before I immediately had a sense I was where I needed to be. Journaling is encouraged and there is a section in back of the workbook to journal. Those who know me well, know "I don't journal". I have desired to, but simply get dismayed by the scattered thoughts and give up. This blog, in and of itself is an attempt to journal in hopes of gaining some accountability and possibly some encouragement.

I have tried to stay focused this week, and I have spent quite some time reading my bible, my book and trying to piece it all together. The busyness of life, and fears somehow always manage to provide a distraction, so did the pain I have had for a couple of weeks. The pain worsened and provided so much distraction from even my busyness and sleep, that I actually decided to have it checked out; and today I had a root canal.

This week my husband and I attended and open house at a local school which I have desired to send our son. Plenty of research, contemplation and worrying went into the process of choosing a school for him. You would think we were sending him off to college; but no, this is just kindergarten. I want so desperately to guard his heart, and I find it a little funny that all the while I have been ignoring my own.

"Above all else, guard your heart,for it is the wellspring of life."

Proverbs 4:23

Fear of finances has prevented me from even thinking it would even be possible to send him to this school, and I am well aware of the sacrifices I will be making to do so. By the way we also enrolled in Financial Peace, which we will start together in February.

Although there are some blanks in my workbook, I feel I have made a good start...